7 posts tagged “life”

I called Time Warner and got my internet turned back on for the time being. I'm sure it's going to be turned back off the second week of May because I don't think I'll have enough money to take care of it. I have a few more pressing things like electricity, rent and my phone.

I got my federal tax refund and was able to pay a few things down a bit. I ended up loosing over half my refund to overdraft fees from the bank. They charged me $6 a day while I had a negative balance. I had no idea that they would do that... I've never overdrawn my account there before. I'm going to go in tomorrow and see if I can get them waived. I just cannot afford to loose that much in fees. I need to keep my power on.

Every day that I'm waiting for my benefits to start, I'm sliding further and further down this hill. I know I'll dig myself out, I always do, but it's hard trying to keep my head up and not sit in my bathtub crying. I've done a fairly good job thus far not letting it get to me too much. Granted, I have ended up throwing a hissy fit and tossing file folders full of paperwork across the room and crying for a bit, but I always pull myself together after a few minutes. Sitting around and crying isn't going to put any money in the bank.

Tomorrow is another day of filling out forms (to get help for my rent and bills until unemployment kicks in) and making phone calls. It's getting tedious, but I kind of think of it as my job right now... well that, and knitting.

My stress relief this past week has been knitting hats. I've finished 2 since Thursday and started a new one last night. I had to rip out the one I made Thursday night because it was a bit too large. I forgot that adding more stitches + larger needles = a much larger hat. Duh.

After spending the entire day on the phone again, I'm still getting nowhere. The lady I talked to today suggested that I go to church and ask for help.Thanks. A lot.

Actually, what I'd prefer is to be able to take advantage of the benefits that I've been paying into for years. I'd like to be able to go one day without spending at least an hour crying my eyes out with worry and frustration. I'm not some bum. I'm not some lazy baby-pooping machine who wants everyone else to take care of me. I'm just a sick girl who needs some time to get well and some money to get through that.

I would have preferred, obviously, if I had to get sick at all, to have the health insurance and disability insurance that I paid for actually be worth something. I've spent hours on the phone each week since I had to leave work on the phone trying to file a claim to take advantage of the short term disability plan. I paid for it. I'd like to use it. But no one at the HR office @ Job Co. will return my calls. Now that just screams human resources to me... The list of phone numbers I have for all the benefit companies lead me nowhere. I've requested the same things over and over and over again with no luck.

I'm going to go cry some more and try to get some rest. Getting stressed out daily is not the best way to get well when the first thing the doctor tells me is to avoid stress. Ugh.

I just tried to make a phone call with my calculator.

I got a letter from landlord today re: my late ass rent. I have to find some money right away or else I'm going to be homeless. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

I've been making calls all day trying to get money. This is so annoying.

Edit: Just got off the phone with the NC Unemployment office... they tell me to file in Ohio... Two weeks ago, Ohio told me to file in NC. Fucking Christ!

Thanks for getting rid of my favorite person on ANTM Tyra. You suck.

I hope sulfur doesn't rain down on me for watching this dumb Pussycat Dolls show.

I made a wonderful dinner tonight. Pan-grilled salmon over spinach, manadrin oranges, radishes with a yummy yummy yummy raspberry sauce.

I got more raspberry sauce on myself than anyone over the age of five should ever have on them.

I'm trying to make a list of all the crap I need to do this week. I'm so scatterbrained that I keep writing things on sheets of paper, post-its and shit and then proceed to lose them in the mess that is my desk.

I'm still trying to figure out my money situation. I have no money at all and am far behind on all my bills. I spent ages on the phone today trying to get it all sorted out.

I went for a long walk this afternoon in the snow and cold. It was nice until I got cold. I had to knock on some dude's door at the end of Patterson because he had left his keys in his door. I did my good deed for the day.

I'm hating life right now. I just don't feel like anything is going right. When I moved here I thought things would go smoothly -- I had a job, a place I liked, a boyfriend nearby, friends who were excited to see me. The job turned out to be a fucking joke, so I've been sitting at home for over a month. I still like my place, but I never really spend much time here because it's not really feeling like home yet. The boyfriend is here and still nice, but cracks are forming. I can feel a fight or something weird brewing and I just can't even deal with that right now. The friends are still around too, but I haven't really seen any of them because I have NO MONEY AT ALL which means I can't pay my car insurance let alone go out to dinner and movies and bars or where ever to see them. Maybe moving here was a huge mistake. It feels like that right now, but I don't think I would have been any more happy had I stayed in Wilmington. I hated living there. But I miss my Mom. I miss my friends. I miss my house and my dog. I miss my bed and my lovely living room. I'm not a happy camper right now. I'm going to go curl up in my bed and hope that I don't feel like such a worthless piece of shit tomorrow.

On my way into my building tonight I saw a couple going at it in the front seat of a car. Now I know there isn't a whole lot of traffic coming in and out of my building, especially the backdoor at 11 pm on a Sunday night, but seriously people...I saw boobs. I saw some chick getting felt up in the front seat of her running Toyota Corolla.

Is that really necessary? You're in front of an apartment building -- JUST GO INSIDE! Despite what you think, I can actually see into your car through that stuff called glass. Just so you know.

So I was completely wrong about the new job. It was terrible. The guy I was working with thought he was the boss and that I was a total idiot. He was a lying manipulative bastard. The worst part about it was that he is related to one of the higher up so there's no one I can talk to about him.

I'm not going back.